New York to See What You're Made of...

So, I came to New York and found out that I was a spineless, critical, cowardly, manic, jerk...generally speaking. Not to mention, highly delusional about my level of skill. Now, three and a half months later I can see so clearly where my limitations are and, more importantly, how to fix them.

There are a few reckless things that I have to do before this month is over. One is to run a seminar (at least that's in the workings.) And, another is to get off my laurels and ask for help with my business. Something terrible and exciting happened recently. I discovered I had an excellent credit score. Part of me wonders is a monetarily responsible person has stolen my information and is working in behind the scenes with it.

But, another part of me knows that I have been responsible with my insane monthly bills. I have the opportunity to get a business loan, open an office in Manhattan, spend, spend, spend away. But, a part of me just wants to hire someone else to lead the way. Maybe, I think to myself, maybe, I should just borrow enough to pay the salary of a new business graduate to run the office.

I don't trust myself. I have had enough time here to tell. The way of things is to forget that every second matters. The way of things, in this house, with these people that I live with, is to put things off as if we were guaranteed more than this moment. If only I could motivate myself again. I don't really want anything much. I'm okay with just being okay.

Travel...climbing...recognition...I'm thinking of things I love that I no longer am willing to work hard for. I am existing right now, no fire...last year, I gave my being to be with someone. Now, that someone isn't in my life, and things just seem pointless, unexciting. And, I just don't know how to get that spark or zest for life back.

Gen. 2:18b "It is not good for man to be alone:"

Well, I don't feel better after writing that, and I haven't discovered what lights me up, so I'll just get back to work.

Random Stuff About What I'm Doing

Just found out that everyone is entitled to a free credit report yearly from annualcreditreport.com. There was a phone number I was given too, but I did not catch it.



I'm sort of random right now, but I'm really not happy with the direction I'm going currently, but I know why now. After watching ET's video today, I remember that my real dream is to be a best-selling author. I've had this dream for years. I let my father's snide remarks about starving authors hinder me. But, I remember hearing that when you become an adult, you can't blame your parents anymore for stopping you from reaching you potential.

I've been having an off day, and yesterday was amazing. I hate that! So, I think that maybe I need music for real for my brain to function properly. It helps my writing flow somehow. Maybe, I'll dedicate much of my time in the mornings to writing a book. Something else I remember today thinking: Man is Sufjan Stevens one productive young man. I wonder why it is so natural to some. Or maybe it is just focus. Laser focus on music making.

Big Move - Florida to New York

Image via Wikipedia

I actually made this move in 2007. I was in Brooklyn getting settled for about three months, when I got a phone call from Florida. My aunt, who I was staying with, told me to sit down. I learned that one of my older brothers had been shot and killed. She suggested that I move back to Florida, because my family needed me. It's been a most miserable time since then, and I have witnessed how bitterness can transform people in to cold, merciless, creatures. I am talking about my immediate family. Two of my dear family members are vampires.

I decided to make a road trip out of the drive up. I have a lot of family along the east coast, and I want to them to know that I love them, even though I don't call nearly enough.

So, now, I'm headed to Queens for a spell while searching for a place in Manhattan. This is a really funny deal, because everyone keeps telling how expensive New York is, and that is the least of my worries. I am just reluctant to move because of pollution (noise and the dirty air) are not my thing. I prefer wide open spaces. But, I promised myself that I would join a rock climbing club when I arrived to offset the sadness from a lack of greenery. Yes, pollution and the sidewalk jungle make me sad.

I'm moving there with my long-time friend from Seoul. And we have a sort of funny relationship. We only see the best in each other. And, so I have this expectation that we probably won't be able to live with each other (just based on our similar flaws). But, she's hopeful, so we shall see. I'm getting job offers like mad, and I know part of it is to distract me from building my company. But, at the same time, it is so tempting to take them, because I don't want my friend to have to work and go to school.

I also have this feeling that I'm moving just in time to miss my stalkers that are surely closing in on me. I never thought that I would have stalkers, but I do, and wouldn't you know, they are insistent on meeting me. I...guess I'm reaping what I sowed (i.e. celebrity stalking is bad).

He Loves Me Not

Well, since this blog is something like a journal, I think I'll write about this experience. Although, I will protect the identities of the parties involved by using fictitious names. Let me begin with, I am the type that crushes easily. Maybe the type that people say are in love with being in love more than the characters themselves.

Anyway, so for the past five years I have been in a friendship that I thought would develop into a romantic relationship. I like everything about the guy. He likes me. It took me years to fully express my feelings, and his response was, "It's okay." It's okay, as in, We can get through this. It doesn't have to affect our friendship. So, I spent the last couple of weeks trying to persuade him that we should date. And he spent the last few weeks trying to persuade me that our friendship was worth more than this try at love.

Now, this guy has told me that he loves me many times...as a friend. And there have been sweet words exchanged and the like. I've never been so open with a guy before, not even former boyfriends. So, it was an absolute shock to me when he turned me down. I told him our friendship was doomed in the long run anyway, because I couldn't keep talking to an old flame after I got into another relationship or married (just isn't right). He didn't respond, or he was too slow to respond.

I was feeling so sad and confused about all of this, but I had some real catharsis after speaking to a friend that had gone through a few more break ups. She said she always cuts the old boyfriend off. Now, this guy, we'll call him Ted, was not a boyfriend, but he was the perfect guy in my mind. So, I broke off contact with Ted and it's the strangest thing. These last few days have been some of the lightest and free-est days in my life. I felt a huge load lifted after deleting his number and email and Facebook and...

Now, that area of my life is just open. I'm single and looking again. Feels strange.

For the Love of Numbers

So, this is what's going on lately. I worked hard as hell in order to go on this trip to Taipei and Taichung right now.

That's right. I'm writing this post right now from a cold rented room in Taipei. If a place has Internet that is usually enough to keep me happy.

So, it seemed simple enough. I was selling my old textbooks on Amazon which was bringing in anywhere from 50-120 a week. I was working with my old sales position with Vector Marketing selling knives. Yes kids knives. I was also going to auction off some stuff on eBay, but that never happened. Oh yeah, and I was babysitting for a couple of days a week (...that was the hardest job.)

A MOMENT OF ILLUMINATION

Anyway, I came to a giant new awareness while doing all of this. I realized that multiple streams of income rocks. The product with Tellman was finally finished up, so I decided to work while on vacation. I'm not working the sales job for the money. And I will be forever in the testing mode for anything I market online. I'm working for the experience, so I'm enjoying it a lot. (THANK YOU ROBERT KIYOSAKI!)

Hmmm...that wasn't completely coherent. Basically, I am saying that I am at a pinnacle of understanding as a result of this mad rush to travel to Taiwan. And I can see nothing but good stuff for my future because the sales job is all about knowing your closing ratio and staying at an acceptable number of appointments to make a good number of sales.

I'm taking this knowledge to the online world. KNOW YOUR NUMBERS. I will be getting the squeeze page and everything set up by a freelancer while I am out here and who knows what will happen from there. The numbers that I ran away from in school have now become my best friends:)

How To Become Social - A Case For Character Countdowns

Image via Wikipedia

UPDATE: COLIN has the book available for only 99 cents at http://www.ebookling.com


My link from howtobecomesocial.com no longer links to the sales page on Colin's site. Thanks!

So, I went through the trouble of buying this domain http://www.howtobecomesocial.com and learning video marketing and what not and creating this promo video, way late, for Colin Wright's e-book masterpiece of social genius Networking Awesomely, and then I do all my research and stuff to make this video promo thing and then YouTube is like, uh no, your description is tooo long. Julie! You told me to put an article in my description box with multiple links! YouTube say, nooo! I guess if it had been a 300 word article like normal traffic articles that would have been okay, but by the time I was done researching the first page of Google on becoming social, I had a three page essay. I'm testing some techniques from another mentor of mine.

P.S. YouTube might must hate me. Why all the screenshots with my eyes closed! Huh? Why YouTube Why.

Oh, just so all my long hours of work don't go to waste, I'm posting my monstrous essay of an article here. How to Become Social <--link to the video GET THE SKILLS NOW! HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM {how to become social} "how to become social" Honestly, if it wasn’t awesome. I would not have spent all this time researching the rest of the stuff and making this video. I have too many more important things to do. But, I’m about spreading the good stuff in the world and giving my honest opinion. A group of contributors from wikiHow write How to Become Sociable:
Jul 19, 2010 ... wikiHow article about How to Become Sociable. ... You can be more sociable this way, and around a lot more people. 9. Be an optimist. ...
www.wikihow.com/Become-Sociable

I have to say they had some good tips that weren’t all on all the other sites like make eye contact; talk to others around you; remember the E word: Empathy, remember the fun; Put in the effort, always try to accept others’ offers and invitations and be with them; don’t be yourself all the time; mix up your routine; be an optimist; and compliment people. After reading the best of what this group of brilliant minds came up with, I found myself wondering if they threw the steps together or if they really put some thought into it. As a student I would need to have 11 or 12 other resources to balance the lack of research on this one, but it’s a nice start. If you would like to see that a balance of research and practice look like, click the link below.

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

Christ of succeedsocially.com | Free social skills advice for adults writes:
Why You Need To Directly Practice Your Social Skills And How To Do It • Indirectly Become More Socially Successful By Improving Yourself As A Person ...
www.succeedsocially.com/

Okay, honestly this site looks like a great resource. I was just scared of it because it’s so HUGE! It’s like trying to read through an entire set of encyclopedias that aren’t even organized in alphabetical order. Yeah, this is the only site that I can say that they author might actually be pretty cool because he has a blog, and most people that keep blogs have something valuable to say. He was offering free social skills coaching for a minute there on July 19th, but he just closed the doors on that one. But, why do I say he’s pretty cool? Why is the site great, falling short of awesome? Well after visiting, I still have no idea who this guy is. Want to see what an awesome site looks like?

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

Glamorgirli on Answerbag asks How can I make myself become more social around people? I always feel so nervous and stupid around new people.

Some of the great advice she received was:
1) Practise... personally i have had the same trouble before. Very shy and nervous around new people. Go hang out with a group of close friends and ...
2) Ask a lot questions
3) Get a job in retail
4) Smile
5) Calm down, have a beer
6) Read a long scholarly article written in 3rd person by a professor of psychology
7) Rip your hair out because that article is 50 pages long
8) try being around people more often…go where people gather—by yourself!
www.answerbag.com/q_view/187834

Sorry for the sarcasm about the lengthy multi-post probably very informative (and boring and confusing) article that someone posted on there. The other tips are pretty good. I give this site 5 stars for combining lame with awesomeness! If you’d prefer pure awesomeness, click the link below.

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

A few brave souls ask How do I become more social on Yahoo Answers:
Apr 21, 2007 ... A bit of background info, I've recently turned 18 and I'm in my last ... yes it is awkward but you have to decide whether you are up to and can ...
answers.yahoo.com › Social Science › Psychology
Apr 21, 2007 ... A bit of background info, I've recently turned 18 and I'm in my last ... yes it is awkward but you have to decide whether you are up to and can ...
answers.yahoo.com › Social Science › Psychology - Cached - Similar
How do I become more social / make more friends in college ...? - 1 post - Jul 6, 2010
How can I become more social (starting college in August)?? - 2 posts - Jun 12, 2010
How do I become more social and open-minded?? - 5 posts - Apr 28, 2010
How do I become more social at parties?? - 2 posts - Apr 21, 2010
Can Feliway help my cat become more sociable?? - Nov 4, 2009
How can a person become more sociable?? - Aug 23, 2007
How do I become more sociable?? - Nov 11, 2006
How do you become more social and less shy? How can i be more ...? - Jun 11, 2006

I say that they are brave because I’ve noticed that some people just take advantage the anonymous nature of the web and blast people with already obviously low self esteem. I cringe to read some of the comments, but I don’t jump in most of the time, because bullying others is entertainment. But, how do you not end up being the sad person that gets blasted with negative comments in the first place? Don’t take the problems with your social like to strangers on the web in the first place. Learn from the best and make changes in the real world. If you want to find out more about how to do that click below:

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

An Anonymous freelancer on Mahalo writes: Are you tired of sitting at home alone? Is there a lot going on, right now, that you would like to get involved with? It would be a shame for you to miss ...

This writer had some good tips to share; probably because he or she actually did some research to write this one. But, here are some of the best ones:

1) Don’t Rush It and think you will change over night.
2) Make the first move when you see someone you want to talk to.
3) Increase your vocabulary to make conversations flow easier.
4) Find Out Who You Are…by talking to yourself.
5) Be True To Yourself; basically don’t try to change your personality to fit in.
6) Look Your Best At All Times
7) Tone Your Body
8) Learn How to Dance
9) Go Out More Often
10) Keep a Social Schedule
www.mahalo.com/how-to-become-more-social

Number five really doesn’t make sense because you’re changing from an unsocial person to a social person, but anyway. This is the best article that I ran across amongst the wealth of knowledge available to you on the Web. If feel like this was a good appetizer and you need more detail to really make a turn around check out the website below.

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

On 43 things two anonymous posters write:
Can anyone give me some tips on how to become more sociable? I seem to be spending all my time alone, or with the same small group of people. ...
www.43things.com/things/view/.../become-more-sociable
I have a boyfriend now, and i'm scared he will break up with me if i dont become more sociable with him. i dont have any classes with him but i do see him ...
www.43things.com/things/view/3497/become-more-social
I guess the most important thing to learn is that there are thousands of people that want to learn how to become more social. It sure helps to get tips from others that are overcoming the same issue. If you’re not happy with your social life, it’s up to you to change that. Oh, and if you’re like the first person your problem is simply learning how to get out of your routine and comfort zone. If you’re like the second person here, you need to recognize that you’re making assumptions that are probably not true and do what makes you happy. If you’re young and confused about how this all works, or if you just want more tips for how to improve your social life, click on the link.

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

Jason Ward writes: How to Become More Social. A lot of people in todays society are unsocial, held-back, and don't really know how to talk with others, or how to become friends with strangers, follow this tutorial for help on overcoming your shyness.

He suggests rising above the personalities we are born with; he suggests that you make an effort to reach out to people – take the first step; value yourself, treat yourself with the much needed respect that you deserve; push yourself to do something out of the ordinary; and finally he says to think of this as the ultimate challenge.
http://www.ehow.com/..._become-social.html

I’m sure you didn’t learn anything that you haven’t heard before. It’s a shame that articles like this end up on the front page of Google because the domain is an authority site. What was all that techno babble I just said? The article is bad, but there is enough content on the site that it doesn’t matter. If you want to learn actual tips from someone that went through the transformation from a shy person to a social person, then check out the site below.

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

John Writes: 4 Simple Guidelines to Becoming More Social While Maintaining Your Success .... As soon as your clients become friends they will want some leniency on ...
1) Sleep at night, work during the day.
2) Get out of the house at all costs.
3) Take classes or attend conference related to your work.
4) Make your clients your friend
freelanceswitch.com/.../4-simple-guidelines-to-becoming-more-social-while-maintaining-your-success/

Now is John the expert on this, probably not. He’s a freelancer which probably means he read a few articles just like I’m doing and summarizing the best of what he came across. You know what’s even better than just looking for the top search results on Google about the subject. Asking all the people in your social circle how they do it best and sharing it.
Click the link to find out what I’m talking about.

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

How can i become more social? | Be More Outgoing
Anonymous writes: ... How can i become more social? im 20 years old and im just tired of not beeng social, i dont even have many friends and the ones i do have ... i want to be social so i can meet new people, maybe even get a gf …
www.bemoreoutgoing.com/be-more.../how-can-i-become-more-social

If you sound anything like this poor guy you owe it to yourself to click on the link in this text and see what this book is all about. Because some guys got it and some guys don’t, and wouldn’t you like to learn from a guy that didn’t have it but definitely does have it now?

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

Where Does a Geek Find a Social Life? Answering this question was unavoidable since there were many geeks that contributed to this how to guide on building a social life and being awesome in general.

GO HERE: HTTP://WWW.HOWTOBECOMESOCIAL.COM

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dating advice hot online how social outgoing extrovert <--yeah those aren't mine. I know you're gonna feel me on this one. Why doesn't YouTube have a character countdown like Twitter if it's going be having this 'error' description is too long business. Booo!

UPDATE: COLIN has the book available for 99 cents at http://www.ebookling.com
My link from howtobecomesocial.com no longer links to the sales page on Colin's site. Thanks!

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Play or Go Home!

So, I have recently started embracing my competitive nature. I was trying to be the everyone wins, let's all collaborate and be friends, type of person for the last couple of months because of a video that Ann Sieg made about making your competitors your partners. I didn't really know who I was. But, I just realized that deep down inside I want to win. I want nothing more than to get to the top of my company and gloat, rub it into all the losers' faces.

Competition is good. It encourages innovation. And just because you're competing doesn't mean that you can't collaborate.

And you know what? Nothing excites me more than a good game. In the video I kind of share what's been happening to me as I challenge more and more network marketers that are internet network marketers using video. I have the excitement and passion I had about the LoTR films when they came out years ago. I was a ridiculous, scary, stalkerish fan girl of Orlando Bloom. I've been trying to recreate that passion since 2005 when it sort of fizzled out.

I was hard core. I was a leader of fangirl mayhem. We organized ourselves and went to his premieres; we befriended his mom to make sure he got our gifts; we made fan art and t-shirts, and were planning to buy some piece of property and name it after him. Anyway, Colin Wright was the first one to tell me that I was a type A, competitive type. Everyone has called me the timid, passive type. It's funny he could see that, though I was in denial at that moment. Artists, like me, hate any sort of label.

So, I guess I have him to thank for being a part of the reason that I am on my A-game. Play or Go Home!